Have you ever ended up lying in your bed late after midnight thinking about your last animated discussion with a friend or a colleague? I bet you have, since once I was in your shoes as well as everyone else. So what is a “communication”? How does it affect our lives?
They say, people are social species. It means that we cannot survive without a company of our own kind. We have known that for ages, and because of that in many closed organisations, for instance, prisons or mental hospitals they put the most aggressive people into so-called solitary confinements – rooms where they have to stay all alone, waiting for the timer to let them free. And despite the fact that there are those who think that speaking to others is a bad idea (homebirds, introverts or as it is trendy to call them these days – misanthropes); the overwhelming majority would beg to differ.
“Leave your computer and go make some friends,” our mommies would say to us at weekends when we were adolescents. The striking and the most logical question “why?” had never been answered. However, bearing in mind what media does to us, with their omnipresent articles and videos about some gloomy teenagers who commited suicides because they had been left behind, our parents’ behaviour actually made sense. Talking helps. That is why we have so many ready-to-help therapists. They will give you a simpering smile and say that it was reasonably prudent to come to them… even if you had not had any psychological issues before visiting them.
So getting back on the topic of “good communication”, why is it so special? The way I see it, chatting helps us unwind by sharing our thoughts and opinions on the life itself. It can be a teeny-tiny problem at school because of a strict teacher, or it can be something controversial and worth talking about like the environment, politics or famine. The point is, it is not really important to be right, to have any background experience of the topic. A human is a giver. We need to give first or we will not be able to receive. It is logical: if you want to full a full glass, you need to empty it first.
And what stays behind thinking about the conversation over and over again? Sometimes the topic itself can be really haunting and it will not let you go. It is OK. We like coming out on top, and if we lose, our brain starts envisioning things, making up numerous stories beginning with “ifs” and “thens”.
So it is true. Good chat with a nice interlocutor is like grand coffee. Somewhere deep down we know, that drinking too much is bad, but we are too weak to stop. On our subconscious level we are ready to face the music.